Random abstractions :P

Escapism is probably the biggest lie humanity is witness to. We refuse to accept it, but as hypocrites, apply it in some form or the other in our lives willingly or unconsciously.
Inertia of a particular idea/ideology/mindset/belief often stems from escapism. We live in a bubble built around us, a bubble created to protect us from the outer world, ideas or thoughts which conflict with ours, and those which we aren’t willing to accept. This bubble becomes dangerous when its strength starts matching that of a wall, so much so that it acts as a barrier more than a protective cocoon. It starts repelling the realists, people who objectively analyse every situation.
Not that every “bubble” is bad. As i came across this article somewhere, people at times perform better and lead enriched lives inside them. The make-belief world to them is their reality, and hence live it as one.
I do not claim to be a saint, i am guilty of being an escapist too. I “escaped” from one city to get away from the people i knew, to leave it all behind and start afresh. To see whether 18 years of existence have drilled any sort of sense into me, so that i can stand on my own two feet, hold my ground, be opinionated. To break away from the shell i was living in, without a care of the world outside.
Somehow fear seems an integral part of all of this. Fear of letting go, fear of holding on. Fear of acceptance or rejection, by peers or closed ones. Fear of giving in, fear of taking a stand.
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Its strange though. I set out from one place, not knowing what friends are, what friendship means. To me it seemed all too superficial, exchanging of meaningless pleasantries, late-night texting, bunking and roaming around. I never knew what confiding in someone meant (parents being a different case altogether). I never knew of problems that could exist between people, and solutions friends would provide to overcome them.
And then i changed. The butterfly came out of its cocoon, and soon, although of a different colour and pattern, became one of them. Outgoing, friendly, approachable. Every friend, close or otherwise, has a particular role defined. I became “The Provider”. Answers, no matter how factual or abstract. Opinions, brutally honest ones. Support, solid, reliable and dependable. It soon turned into this greed, of knowing more people, not as a pastime or such frivolousness, but as a part of my own social make-up.
And the pivotal point stands right in front me, staring like a train heading steadily towards me while i sit on the tracks thinking. Is all of this necessary? You cannot make a difference in everyone’s life, they always do have someone else they look towards. You cannot always provide the right answers, worst if they turn out to be the wrong ones. You cannot make everyone believe that your honesty and trust is what makes you stand apart, but eventually are so easily outnumbered you are that you are actually standing alone. You cannot be everyone’s friend, because they already have a few better ones in their life.
And then i begin to give up. Give up on people, on expectations. All this effort of getting your friendship across to people seems futile. Thankfully a few good ones have realised it, and i know they’d stand by me, come what may. Life, like java, does throw up exceptions though. I feel at times life was better then, devoid of complexities and complications. But as a wise cat once put it, “If life was meant to be easy, it would never be worth it.”